In descending order:
10. I’ve forgotten how to write anything longer than 140 characters.
9. You’ve forgotten how read anything longer than 140 characters.
8. Even this is less mind numbing.
7. Right now, Game of Thrones/The Walking Dead/Breaking Bad/Downton Abby/Rupaul’s Drag Race/something/anything is prolly on.
6. Why should you, when this exists?
4. Foreigner is still touring.
3. Is this list really not done yet?
2. Reverse psychology doesn’t work on you.
1. It will be self-referential, masturbatory, everything you hate about America, (at times) funny, (at times, but hopefully less often) poignant, pathetic, a cry for help/attention/comments, too long, too short, pop-culture-infused, hot, cold, a waste of your/my/everyone’s time, punny, sexy, boner-killing, meaty, shallow, all that, and a bag of chips.
Well, if you haven’t stopped yet, if you’ve made it this far, I guess you might as well go ahead and subscribe.
Thankz and ur welkz,